


The One Where The Soldier Wont Leave Darcy Alone.

by ZombieCyborgAssassin



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Comics), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, I wrote this slowly over months, Mental Instability, Protective Steve Rogers, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, i hope it doesnt suck, shooting at steve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-05
Updated: 2019-03-05
Packaged: 2019-11-12 08:23:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18007295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZombieCyborgAssassin/pseuds/ZombieCyborgAssassin
Summary: Darcy has had enough of the Soldier showing up.





	The One Where The Soldier Wont Leave Darcy Alone.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lavachick85](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavachick85/gifts).



> I own nothing.  
> Thanks to [Livvy_Nicklaus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Livvy_Nicklaus/pseuds/Livvy_Nicklaus) for beta!
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Darcy banged her head against the table, not even bothered by the slosh of coffee jumping from her cup and beginning to soak into her documents. She had no idea what to do about this. Nobody knew what to do about this, not even him. So no one did anything, and yet the situation continued. At first she was confused and a little worried, then it just upset her that he had no control over it, now every time it happened, all she wanted to do was find somewhere to hide and cry… or find a hydra bunker and blow it up. 

Calloused warm fingers quickly slipped between her head and the desk, causing her to headbutt them into the desk. Thankfully she was too much of a crybaby to actually thump her own head with any real force, though she wanted to. She lifted her head and stared at the palm that remained in her head-thumping-zone, before looking up at the stoic owner of said hand.

“No more,” he said in stilted english. The most words he'd ever said in the entire time that she'd worked at the Avengers compound. Any time she tried to spark up a conversation with him when he was like this, he would merely stare blankly at her. When she tried to speak with him any other time, well, she couldn't get close enough to say a word. He left rooms if she entered, he turned and walked the other way if he saw her in the corridors, he would scarf down all communal meals as swiftly as he could at the opposite end of the long ass dining table and then bolt out of the room like he had diarrhea. What's worse is that she couldn't talk to Cap about it because he would glare at her anytime she was in the room, like she had actually done something.

Hoping that she might have some kind of luck this time, she narrowed her eyes at the Winter Soldier and stuck out her chin. 

“Why should I listen to you?” Did she care that she sounded like a petulant child? Not really, not when there was so many childish tactics being used by his alter ego. 

The Soldier considered her for a moment, eyes briefly flicking to his hand where it remained on her desk, before gazing back at her blank as ever. 

A few moments of silence continued and when she knew for sure that she wasnt getting a response, she gave a short scream of frustration, throwing her hands up in the air. 

“I don't get you or any of this!” she ranted as she stuffed her bag with her soggy documents and forcefully turned off her computer. 

With her effects all packed away, she stormed out of her office and made her way to the elevator, ignoring the startled looks on her secretary and the other office workers. Not to mention the Soldier’s ever hovering, ever disapproving shadow. She stopped in front of the elevator briefly and realised that she would be trapped in an elevator with the Soldier and Captain Disappointment and she would rather eat dirty Hulkout shorts. 

She veered off to the side and exited to the stairwell, knowing at least this way she would get some amount of physical space until she got to her apartment on the same floor as Jane, Thor and Loki. 

She stomped her way down three levels, the whole time she raged internally at the fact that she now had to either get into one of the dumb pseudo golf carts with one or both muscle bound idiots, or walk, and she didn't even choose appropriate footwear today because she wanted Ahmed from accounting to notice her. The worst part was that she couldn't even sense how far behind her they were, their footsteps were so stealthy. With the back of her hand, she scrubbed an angry tear from her cheek, only pausing to realise that it was now covered in streaks of black. Great. The  _ one _ day she decides to skip the waterproof mascara is the first day the Soldier talks to her. Un-fucking-believable.

She steps out into the little cart park and decides she's gonna jump into the first one and try and get away before either can join her. She was reversing as the Soldier smoothly stepped into the passenger seat. She was already out of the cart park by the time Captain Rogers caught up at a run. Fucking supers. 

“Miss Lewis,” he began in a chiding manner, as though talking to a delinquent. He didn't even bother to pretend to be out of breath. 

“Fuck off, Rogers,” she didn't even bother to look in his direction, she wanted to be left alone.

His voice turned hard, “Now there's no need to-” 

“I said fuck off, Rogers. Go away or I'll borrow the Soldiers gun and shoot you in the star spangled showgirl tights!” she swerved the cart, meaning to knock him on his ass, but the cart was too slow and his reflexes were to quick. 

It wasn't until she was back to the cart path that she saw that the Soldier was handing her his gun. She looked at him quizzically, but he said nothing. 

She raised an eyebrow, “You  _ want _ me to shoot him in the ass?” 

He tilted his head, eyes moving from the jogging Icon beside the cart and Darcy, before shrugging. “If it does not help, it will at least be funny.” 

She felt her mouth pop open, but quickly managed to stop the cart before she allowed herself the full belly laugh that erupted from her.

“Buck!” Came the still unwanted voice beside the now stationary cart. 

“If you don't shoot, I will,” the Soldier said, making her guffaw harder. Deciding that the Captain would probably recover quicker from her poor shooting, than the Soldiers expert marksmanship, she took the gun and turned it on the now alarmed Steven Rogers.

“5,” she began, a little of the anger returning to her voice. His eyes bulged at the very real threat, and held his hands up.

“Now, Miss Lewis,” he began.

“4,” she began deciding where best to aim. Just left of the foot? 

She felt metal fingers slide around her own, lifting her aim to his groin, making her give a cheeky little titter.

“3,” Rogers had begun stepping back quickly, but now he spun and began to run.

“Dva,” said the Soldier, his body radiating heat at her back. She twisted around to look over her shoulder at him, his empty eyes riveted to her. She let go of the gun, wiggling her fingers free, allowing it to remain in his hand. She turned back to the carts steering wheel, and breathed before she set it back on course.

“Adeen,” he muttered, and the not quite silent silencer on his handgun let off three weird popping noises, which were accompanied by corresponding short squeals from the now distant Captain. She drove in silence as they made their way back to the residential complex, breathing deep even breaths.

The curiosity built, no matter how much she tried to push it away, so as she began to pull into the cart park, she finally asked, “Did you hit him?”

He said nothing, which she expected, though it was disappointing. She parked the cart and made her way through the lobby, and up to her apartment, all the while being followed by her silent menacing stalker. 

Usually these episodes lasted anywhere between 12 and 72 hours. One time it lasted a whole week, which baffled the Brains trust who were trying to work on why it was happening. The triggers were all gone, the conditioning should have broken down, he went through extensive intensive therapy to remove all triggers found in the red book. The only explanation they'd been able to come up with was that there were other unknown triggers.

It happened one a week on average, she could practically time it now. Especially if it was just after a mission. He'd either switch over as the missions would go over the estimated time, or he would switch over on the flight back to the compound.

She had a room for him, but he wouldn't sleep in it. He wouldn't really sleep at all really. He sat in the chair by the door in her room and wouldn't budge. He wouldn't let her leave his sight either at first until she threatened to have Thor show him how fireworks feels like from the inside.

She opened the apartment door and kicked off her shoes with a sigh. It wasn't fair that he had no control over this, but she wished she knew how it was connected to her, so she could transfer it onto someone else somehow. 

She glanced over her shoulder and watched as he locked the door and began his usual inspection of the apartment, checking under beds for bad guys and in lamps and plastic plants for bugs. She had no idea where he was hiding the electromagnetic detector wand thingy, but she knew that she’d never get and answer even if she asked. 

She took a cleansing breath in and let it out as well as a bunch of the tension in her shoulders, a lone tear trekking down her face quickly wiped away. 

She stepped into the kitchen and began making hot chocolates, extra marshmallows. He seemed to be okay with her taking care of him a little, like feeding him or on the rare occasion bathing him because he wouldn't leave her side and he’d been injured or his episode had lasted longer than was usual and he was just in desperate need of it. She tried not to think about those times. She’d felt awful that he wasn't interested in taking care of himself, or did not know how. It would have been a wonderful opportunity to perv on him but it was marred by the shadow of Hydra’s abuse. 

She swallowed, trying not to remember the way he flinched at her touch the first time. Hydra were fucking barbarians. He was a lot more accepting these days, after so many months of these episodes. 

She carried the hot chocolate to the coffee table and set them down and curled up on the couch, eyes tracking the pacing Soldier. 

“You’ll wear a hole in the carpet, come sit down.” she said, patting the couch beside her. 

He looked over briefly, eyes bouncing back to the window and then the front door. 

She frowned, “Is someone coming?” she didn't know what this was. She hadn't seen him act like this before. He was both twitchy and chatty. 

He hesitated before abruptly sitting down on the sofa beside her, closer than normal. His body heat was quickly leaching into her thigh and arm. She watched him have some kind of internal argument, before he turned to her, reached his big hands out to her and hauled her into his lap like she weighed nothing, and wrapped his arms around her in what had to be the best hug of her life. She blinked for a moment before deciding that she would just go with it, and melted into his incredible heat, her arms sneaking around his waist, and her head snuggled in between his neck and his metal shoulder. She could feel his heartbeat, it was fast, but she wasn't sure if that was normal, or if it was about whatever it was that he was worried about. He smelled amazing. She wanted to smell this regularly, but she wasn't sure it was appropriate to enjoy his personality disorder like that. 

She hummed softly, just basking in the heat, to let him know that it was more than welcomed before she opened her mouth. 

“What’s gotten you so snuggly, Soldier?” she murmured into the cotton of his henley. 

She felt him take a deep breath, and exhale. If she wasn't mistaken, she thinks he was smelling her. 

She wasn’t expecting a response from the man, so when he muttered something unintelligible, she was a little confused. She pulled back to look at him. He resisted, like he was worried she was going to leave his arms, but when he realised she was only trying to look at him, he allowed her to move.

She studied his face a moment, “I didn’t catch that, I don't have super hearing or mind reading. Do you mind repeating that?” she held her breath, sure that he wasn't going to answer. 

He held her eyes for a moment before looking down at her shoulder where her hair curled around itself and he had apparently buried his face a moment ago.

“I don't know how long I have left. You have been the best handler,” his muttered words sent ice through her veins. He thought of her as his handler? He didn't know how long he had left? What?

Deciding to take things one thing at a time, she tried to sooth him by running a hand through his hair. “What do you mean you don't know how long you have left?” 

His eyes remained on her shoulder, though they were beginning to get a little glassy. Seeing him so vulnerable was really breaking her heart. This was such a difficult situation and she wasn't sure she could stand to watch such a strong man cry.

“The therapy. It is working. I’ll be gone soon.” His words fell into the room like boulders, heavy and damaging. The Soldier thought of himself as separate from Barnes? He didn't have any conscious activity or part of Barnes at all?

She swallowed her tears at his confusion, and kept running shaky fingers through his hair. She didn't know what to say. She didn't know how to handle this situation. She wanted to make it alright for him, she wanted to make him content, if not happy. She wanted this man who had suffered so much to have peace of mind for a change. 

“Where will you go?” she asked, unable to stand the silence. He stared blankly at the curl on her shoulder. There was no answer coming and she knew it. She knew he didn't have the answer because like her, he had no idea about this whole situation. Or perhaps he subscribed to the belief that he was going to die and go to hell.

She snuggled in closer to him, tucking her face in between his neck and shoulder again and breathed him in. she knew that if he was gone, she would never get another chance like this again. Barnes couldn't be in the same room as her, let alone hold her like she was the only thing tying him to this plane of existence.

“I’m gonna miss you,” she whispered into the quiet of the room.

He held her tighter, pulling her into his chest where his heart rate picked up. 

“Who will protect you?” he asked, the eastern european accent thicker than before. She tried her best to suppress the sob, she really did, but now that she realised that he thought of her as his handler, she now understood all the episodes. He was looking after her. That week he hadn't left was when Thor and Jane had been off world and she was alone. Every time he’d shown up, she got it. She’d been sick with a cold and missed a few days of work. Thor had been on mission. She hadn’t shown up to a team dinner because she preferred to have her own space sometimes. He’d shown up when she had her period. Every. Damn. time. She had thought it was embarrassing and maybe bad karma for tricking Jane into drinking decaf one too many times. But he’d been watching over her every time. Leaving when he either deemed her safe or when the other personality housed in his head took back over. When that happened it always was hard to watch him avoid eye contact and mumble something she couldn't hear before bolting out the door. 

The Soldier held her, metal fingers rubbing back and forth on her lower back. She held him tight, not sure if she was comforting him or herself. 

He thought he was going to be gone forever. Do personalities disappear for good? Do they lie dormant? Do they go to heaven? She hoped that wherever he went, he was at peace. He didn't seem like the kind of person that had ever experienced peace. 

She didn't know what to say, she barely knew him but she was so used to him now, so used to looking after him while he apparently watched over her.  _ I’m going to miss our weird co-caring adventures and one sided conversations?  _ That seemed harsh and insensitive. So she held him tighter and breathed him in.

When she was able to find her voice, she shifted her face a little so she could speak without leaving the crook of his neck. “How long do you think you have?” her voice was hoarse, but clear enough.

The shoulder beneath her head lifted, but the man otherwise remained silent. 

This might be the last time she could ask, so she took a deep breath and asked the question of the century. “Why did you pick me for your handler?” 

There was silence for a while, enough to make her believe he wasn't going to answer and lull her into a drifting calm in the safety of his arms. But the silence was broken before she drifted too far.

“You’re th’girl of m’dreams, Doll.” was murmured into her hair, the warmed of his breath washed gently over her neck and cheek and she stilled. His accent was brooklyn, not eastern european. She felt her lungs freeze and her heart began thumping in her chest. All she could hear was the blood rushing in her ears and she dared not move for fear of ruining the moment and scaring him away. 

What did that mean, ‘girl of his dreams’? What did it mean that the Soldier was there but Barnes ran away from her any chance he got? 

Before she could speculate any further, she was interrupted by his next words. 

“Only the Soldier was brave enough to be near something, or someone, that he feared would reject him and prove to him that his negative self opinion was valid.” 

She remained silent, but continued to cling to him as tight as she had the Soldier. Did he mean that he thought that she would turn him down on a date? Or think he was scary? Or something else? 

Deciding it was best to remain silent, because she didn't have the answers and probably didn't want the answers but needed them, but Nat always said that silence make people talk. She wasn't sure how long it would last, so she decided to focus on feeling his body heat soak into her skin. She was wrung out from this whole Soldier business and she didn't have anyone else to cuddle that would make her feel this supported or safe, so she enjoyed it while she could. Would she ever see the Soldier again? Silent tears for the other part of this man who thought he was going to be gone forever slipped down her face, dripping off her chin onto the other man. She felt when he felt them, but did not move or acknowledge it. She felt him sigh and rest his chin on her shoulder. 

“He’s not gone. He’s still a part of me. We’re just… merging? I think?” he seemed so unsure of himself. Which was so unlike the Soldier that she silently questioned his reasoning. 

“This is why I couldn’t talk to you, I don't know what I’m doing,” he half muttered to himself.

At some point she must have fallen asleep, because she drifted leisurely back awake with the feeling of gentle fingers carding through her hair and the sound of a quiet conversation. 

“She’s trouble, Buck. you said it yourself.”

“I said no such thing, Steven-”

“You and I both know that our lives aren't suited to relationships-”

“No, that's what you keep telling yourself to get past Natalia’s rejection-”

“- we’re in too much danger-”

“So’s she-”

“-it would end terribly-”

“Steven-”

“-either you’ll hurt her, or she’ll get used against you-”

“-is a relationship about a destination or the journey?”

The sound of Captain Tightpants scoffing grated against her pleasant floating and made her wanna shoot at him again.

“Besides, ain't it her that gets to decide if I’m worth it or not?” 

There was a heavy silence. 

She decided that digging into the Captain’s craw,  _ and _ giving this man, who was the most decent to her in both his minds than any other man she’d ever met in her life, a chance was what felt right, and if it didn't work out, they could at least be friends. But she had a feeling that she didn't need to worry too much about that. 

She snuggled into Barnes and tightened her arms around him with a hum of delight without opening her eyes. 

“You’re so comfortable, how could you  _ not _ be worth it?” She heard a light growl from the other side of the lounge, and snuggled into Bucky some more. “Why’s he here? I thought he’d take a hint when you shot at him.” She felt the chest under her head shake with laughter, and couldn't help the little smile that pulled at her lips. 

“He’s always been too stupid to know when to back down,” he stage whispered into her ear, making her shiver despite how warm she was. But the strength of indignation in Rogers, “Bucky!” made her think of her grandmother clutching her pearls when her brother came out of the closet, so she began giggling into the neck her face was buried in. His shiver didn't go unnoticed however. 

“Listen Stevie, I love you like a brother, but you don't get to decide whether I get to spend my time on a girl.” She could feel the glare coming from the other man burning her back, but she remained buried where she was. She wasn't a super soldier, and she felt safe where she was… safe enough to mutter, “I believe the words you’re looking for is cockblocker.”

“Miss Lewis!” She was certain that her first gift to the pseudo brother of the man she was now sorta-kinda dating was going to be a necklace made of pearls. 

“She’s not wrong, Stevie,” Barnes- Bucky’s teasing tone had her biting her lip and holding him incrementally tighter. She  _ absolutely _ did  _ not _ have images of him teasing her in a more intimate setting. Not at all.

  
  


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